This year

Here's to another year.

I forgot how fetching dark circles are under my eyes. Why on earth does school have to start so early?

But I'm taking a chance on a better year.
More time for writing and reading (and the Facebook newsfeed doesn't count).
More time for going to the park and sitting on the porch.
More time for serving others and being present.
More time for quiet reflection and meditation.
More time for moving and playing.

This year, I won't tread water. I'll swim.

Welcome to After

There are moments in life when the world is supposed to stop spinning. I've heard these referred to as moments when life is split into Before and After.

I've had lots of these moments. I think I measure my life not by birthdays but by Befores and Afters. So today is just another tally mark on the timeline.

There are moments in life when the world is supposed to stop spinning. But it doesn't, and that is a merciful curse.

Give Healing a Chance

A 58-year-old man shot up a movie theater.

A semi sped through a construction zone, causing an accident that killed 5 people including himself and two children.

A man doused a woman in gasoline and set her on fire.

A truck driver (possibly the same man who set the woman on fire) drove the wrong way down the interstate, causing another fatal crash.

All in the last 24 hours.

It's a hard day to feel deeply. It's a hard day for empathy. It's a hard day to believe in goodness.

I don't know how much mental illness played a role in today's atrocities, but I do believe it is a factor more often than not when people choose to hurt one another, especially in cold blood.

So today, I'll be glad I chose the chance that I could feel better. I'm glad that even after therapy failed and coping skills weren't enough, I still took a chance on finding help for my mixed depression and anxiety disorder. 

And today I'll choose the chance that someone out there was waiting for a sign, a small word of validation, a tiny nudge, a token of courage. Take a chance. It isn't easy, but you deserve it. The world needs more people willing to take a chance to improve their mental well-being. 

Here's to Chance

I've always believed that I was born to change the world.

There are so many splinters of humanity that need healed. Racism and inequity, sexism and violence, irreverence toward the elderly, indifference for the poor: Mercy weeps.

I've always believed that I was born to change the world.

But its wounds are deeper than my reach, more vast than my sway. The magnitude paralyzes me and my battle cry for revolution forfeits to quiet disheartenment.

I've always believed that I was born to change the world.

Yet I still believe in goodness. How many others must feel the call to action, hear the all hail, receive the summons, only to be overwhelmed by the greatness of need compared to their capacity to give? How many of us stand crippled by disbelief?

I've always believed that I was born to change the world.

And so I've decided to choose chance. I will not reach every student in my classroom, but I will choose the chance that I might reach one. I will not cure society of its systemic oppression, but I will choose the chance to shed light on its devious endurance. I will not fill the gap left in the hearts of the elderly, but I will choose the chance for even a few to teach what they have learned and to know love at the end.

Because I've always believed that I was born to change the world.